American society is, of course, built around caffeine. In some sense, geeks aren’t really special in their appreciation of this molecule. But, as with everything else, geeks are never content to simply enjoy something. They have to possess it, own it, immerse themselves in it. Small wonder, then, that the online geek emporium ThinkGeek has an entire section devoted to it.
Interestingly, this section is subdivided into three other sections, and the one that has the fewest items in it is the drinks section. This is probably because of the difficulty of sending beverages through the mail, but also let’s face it, anyone can drink caffeine. It’s in the “Accessories” section where we find the caffeinated soap, the caffeinated lip balm, and of course, the caffeine molecule t-shirt. This is a must because the geek has no time for anything that can’t be slapped on a t-shirt.
Naturally, there’s a competition at work. Go onto any online forum where geeks congregate and mention caffeine and within moments they’ll be lining up to tell you the absolutely insane levels of caffeine they imbibe. Within minutes someone will be claiming to inject Jolt Cola directly into their eyeballs. Since most drink manufacturers don’t list the caffeine content on their labels, you’ll need a site like this to calculate the proper amount of braggadocio you’ve earned.
Geeks of course need this energy because of their demanding lifestyles. Sitting in front of a television set or computer screen and eating junk food can really take a lot out of you. Rather than actually eat food that provides nutrition or turn off the anime and go to sleep, they’d prefer to pour more junk down their throats and continue running around Azeroth. Some geeks have gone so far as to suggest that they need so much caffeine to keep their amazing minds working at full speed. One fewer Red Bull and their argument about why Batman would win against Iron Man will suffer.
Since beverage-based caffeine introduction systems usually contain a fair amount of sugar as well, it’s no wonder that geeks tend to fall on the huskier end of the spectrum, especially since there’s no such thing as diet Chee-tos to wash down with that can of Jolt. Go to any online t-shirt store catering to geeks and I guarantee that whatever you want is in stock if you wear a small or medium.
It’s fuel for rockets that don’t go anywhere useful, so it’s little surprise that geeks LOVE caffeine!