Once they’re out of high school, geeks don’t have to really deal with jocks anymore, but they still have to deal with their other nemeses: Christians. Nothing infuriates geeks more than Christians, which is ironic considering how much the two groups actually have in common. They both are focused like a laser on the object of their devotion and want everyone to know it, they pity others who don’t appreciate what they’re into and try to convert them at any given opportunity, they feel that their rituals and beliefs set them apart from and above others, they can meet a colleague who agrees with 99% of what they believe and then get apoplectic about the remaining 1%, and nobody who isn’t part of either group wants to be left alone in a room with either of them.
Most geeks are content to simply be atheists, though usually of a breed so loudmouthed that Christopher Hitchens would suggest they take it down a notch. It is very important for an atheist geek to let others know of his status as such, especially if everyone else in the room is also an atheist. They will almost certainly have a black t-shirt and/or bumper sticker that either informs everyone looking that they don’t believe in God or, more often, one that is designed to try to offend or ridicule those who do believe in God.
For many geeks, though, not having a religion isn’t enough. Some of them, either because they do feel a spiritual force they need to respond to or because they think it will piss off Christians more, turn to Paganism and Wicca, which allow them to talk about “spiritual” things without having to actually believe in anything coherent. It also gives them the added pleasure of explaining how their religion is different from Satanism to people who aren’t going to listen anyway.
Speaking of Satanism, that’s another road a lot of geeks walk down. Satanism is exactly like atheism except you tell people you’re a Satanist.
As we will later find out, geeks have a fondness for other cultures, especially the most superficial aspects of that culture, and since a geek can’t think of Japan without their loins quivering, Buddhism is another popular “religion” for geeks. To be a geek Buddhist, it is necessary to at least read the Wikipedia entry on Buddhism, have a statue of Buddha, and eat sushi. After that your only requirement is to set others straight on what Buddhism is “really about”, since you are one.Finally, there are the joke religions for geeks, such as the Church of the SubGenius and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Both of these cases involve parodies of religion which have become so formalized and humorless that they make the Catholics look like Unitarians. There are also a lot of New Age geeks who are mostly female and claim that there really are such things as faeries (spelled with an “e” to make them extra magickal (spelled with a k to make it really real)), but no one talks to them long enough to find out if they really believe this or are just looking for attention.
If you happen across a geek who actually is a Christian, remember the opening paragraph above and immediately plan an exit strategy.
They don’t want anyone telling them how to live their lives — that’s Joss Whedon’s job! Ergo, geeks LOVE not being Christians.